A Sheepdog's Trials
I was asked to give an account of how a sheepdog may view competing in a trial and what they might think of the course. I have taken the liberty of delving into the mind of my amazing work and trials dog Meg. Together we competed in nine National Trials and one International trial, we also mastered very large flocks of sheep in our everyday work and she was a little gem at stretching across my feet on a night and keeping them warm. But for all that she was one of the feistiest little collies it has ever been my privilege to share my life with.
Barbara
In honour of Meg (20/09/1979 - 03/06/1992) and her brilliant sense of humour
A Sheepdog's Trials
The evidence
The motor is being backed into the yard and as the tail gate is dropped I prepare to jump in, but then I see the 'posh' crook in the back which means we are off to a sheepdog trial, normally this doesn't bother me but lately I have begun to question the sanity of my so called owner. I will explain my reasoning for this but first I feel it rude not to introduce myself, I am Meg, an ISDS registered collie, and I am told that I have champions in my blood line but that doesn't really interest me as my main focus in life is my work. I love it and further more 'She' my so called owner taught me all I know, well I knew it really I just needed to find it. Why do I call her names, and isn't it rude? Well yes but She thinks she owns me when I believe it to be the other way round, and She calls me names other than Meg depending on her mood, the weather and of course the sheep, so for the rest of my musings I will on occasion give She a capital for her name. Why do I question her sanity? Well I have well over an hour of travelling to the trial so I will try and explain my reasoning and at some point you will surely see that She has lost the plot. This is going to be fun so I will hop in the back and let's get started.
I came into her life when I was just a pup and I have to confess that for over three years of my life I tried to break her, I pushed every boundary and argued at every opportunity but she's a tough boot and refused to be worn down, so I started to listen to her and I have to admit she was, and still is, an alright person - apart from losing the plot every so often. Together we learned a lot about sheep, about work, about my ancestors and about life. One of my all time favourite things is when a sheep refuses to go where I want it, I couldn't wear She down but I can wear a sheep down. It's about understanding when they feel they have to fight and when they think they can turn and take flight. By using a lot of patience and my amazing (her word not mine)determination I con them into thinking they can take flight but of course 'flight' in these cases is into the pen She wants them in so she can check them over.
We have sorted out some crazy sheep and been faced with some difficult times but we've always got those darn sheep where we wanted them, well I have! I can remember going out to gather over six hundred of them and when I got to the back of them one was stuck in a ditch, I sent everyone of those blighters down the hill to where She was waiting and then I sat by the upside down critter and waited. I knew She would come looking for me and also knew she would be trusting me to have a reason for not going down the hill with the sheep and sure enough it wasn't long before she arrived with a truck to take the upside down one back to the farm. I did my best to shear it on the way back and She wasn't best pleased about that but we can't be perfect all the time can we?
I remember when we had some young ewes that had lambed for the first time and we had to take each little family into a pen, check them over and put a mark on them. I loved that job, I would be there waiting and watching when the lambs were born, then back to She to let her know where they were and then as soon as the lambs were up and suckling I would guide mother and offspring to the pen where She was waiting. Then she had to leave to do the school run and left her hubby in charge, nice fellow but not my boss so I did it my way and so fast that he couldn't keep up, I was so darn happy when the pen was full of mixed up sheep and lambs when she got back but She was not happy about it - well not till later when she chuckled and said if she were a collie she'd have done the same!
I loved the night shift lambing, I would sit with her all night just being still and quiet and only helping if really needed. It was 'our' time when she would talk the biggest load of nonsense imaginable and I'd pretend to be interested but I always drew the line when she started to sing.
So you see when we are working it's as if we are one, we know what the other is thinking and we never ask what can't be done. For my part I don't ask for time off, and for her part she never asks too much of me. So why the heck do we have to load a posh crook and travel miles to do something I just can't get the point of!
The Trial
We arrive in good time and the first thing I have to do is get rid of excess waste! (Can't be doing it on the trial field - as if I would and as if the sheep care anyway) then stand quietly and 'prepare', by that She studies the course and I think about conversing with others that are here on trial but not being a sociable bod I refrain. Then it's our turn, we walk out to the post and She takes up her position at the post and her body language indicates I have to go on a really wide outrun. At this point I'm trusting that she can see a lot more than me as I can only make out a handful of sheep that really don't require me running my socks off and doing an outrun that I would be proud of to round five hundred plus of the critters, but not five! So off I go, I take pride that she never has to give me a whistle to go wider so I set off for the five hundred that must be hiding somewhere. But no, there's still only five of the blighters and there they stand as I give her the perfect 'lift' for the judge. Down the field and now I keep getting the slow down whistle, what on earth for I can have these guys in that pen in the wink of a ram's eye but of course we're on trial and there is a judge so I slow down. But why is it so important to that crazy judge that I take the sheep through the gateway, there's no fence either side of it for goodness sakes but She doesn't want me to be found guilty so I do my stuff and get them safely to her feet. Now for a tight turn round her, sheep aren't good at tight turns they tend to want to run off but not with me in charge they don't. Now I have to drive them away again and in a straight line to the next gateway with no fence, and what's the point of bringing them if they have to go away again. Now we're off on a 'cross drive' so called because most collies are getting cross by this point. Yet another pointless gate to negotiate and back to where She is standing and her positioning says to me that we have to get one or even two out from the rest. I love this bit, it requires great skill and a lot patience and trust but we do it together and She looks really pleased, more pleased than me when she tells me to put it back with the rest! Now to the pen, for some reason it's out in the middle of the field and that's not good shepherding but the judge wants it there so although my task is much more difficult those critters will go in, by hook or by posh crook! Get your nose in girl and do as you're told, you're a sheep and I'm a sheepdog so what I say goes and there we go, the last woolly rear end in the pen and She slams the gate shut. Hey presto my job done and she can get in and inspect them, but wait she's letting them out again, oh nooo, you can't do that it's got to be a mistake. So off I go to gather them up again only to see some rough looking lad with a drop ear and a grin on his face being sent out by his owner to take them from me and put them in what the Judge calls the 'waste' pen. I'll give him waste, no lop eared grinning collie is taking my sheep from me, trial or no trial so I snap at him and get them back only to have She giving that piercing 'that'll do' whistle accompanied by 'the look'! So I do as requested (let's leave the word 'told' out here as I'm still cross) and we leave the trial field.
The Verdict
I always like to have all the facts so a long chat with Lop Ear, nice lad really, and I discover that the Judge dictates he has to take the sheep off the field, I sit with She for a long time and feel she is very much under pressure something we never get at home. Then I sit and watch the other collies on trial and I reach my verdict. While I'll never understand quite why she has to do this 'posh crook' event I will always support her and do my very best, I withdraw my earlier remark about her having lost the plot, I think she is on her way there but not quite got there yet.
Oh yes, the verdict
Guilty - Shoot the Judge
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